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How To Have Relationships?

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 24 June, 2017 “The individual cannot love. When the individual loves, he ceases to be purely individual” D H Lawrence. Q: One of the things I find difficult or challenging, that brings up a lot of stuff for me, is how to relate to other people and how to have relationships. Because relationships for me are one of the great joys, and one of the great frustrations of my life. How do you have a relationship, any sort of relationship, from that place of awareness? And how can you relate to other…

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Feeling Incredibly Vulnerable

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 24 June, 2017 Q: I’m feeling incredibly vulnerable. I really didn’t think I was going to come up, but I just thought maybe I should. I’ve really struggled today, being here. Such difficult feelings; and I don’t even know exactly what they are. I’ve just felt so overwhelmed. James: Where do you feel it in the body? In the belly, somewhere in the central column? Q: A lot wider than normal. Just the whole of me feels incredibly uncomfortable – figity and sicky and almost like I’ve got a fever. If I…

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Authentic Anger

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 25 June, 2017 Q: I don’t know what authentic anger is. When I’ve been angry it’s been very emotional and out of control. So I avoid it. James: Yes. Most of us avoid anger, particularly if we’re English! Our conditioning is that anger is bad all the way through. And when we add spirituality on top of that, it’s super bad. But in not having any relationship with anger, what tends to happen is that it either comes in one burst and completely takes us over, like you say, and we come…

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Nothing Looking, Nothing Being Seen

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 25 June, 2017 Q: You talked this morning about nothing – nothing looking, nothing being seen. I think that needs a little bit of expansion. James: Yes. Let’s go through it again, because I think it’s worth going through it again and again and again. So conventionally, we’re in here (points to his head) looking out through here (points to his eyes) on a world of separate, independently existing objects. But when we look deeply into that belief we realise that no, actually there’s this awareness, and our body parts, thoughts, feelings and…

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Using Spirituality As Another Escape From Life

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 13 May, 2017 James: Realising what it is that you truly are, and that life itself isn’t separate from that, that you are being life, that You, capital Y, or whatever else you want to call ‘it’ – Awareness, Presence, whatever – is actually being life itself, can be a real “Wow!” recognition. But even so, for most of us, all the psychological suffering that’s been going on for a lifetime will still carry on. I had a real wake-up call once. I was hearing someone praying – praying for all the people…

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Crucifixion And Resurrection

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 15 April, 2017 Q: I like sitting up here with you James and there’s sort of a taste for it somewhere, and then there’s a frustration at it too. James: Tell me about the frustration. Q: I can’t f****ng get it! James: How’s that frustration showing up. Try and get wise to the body now. “I can’t f****ng get it.” How is that showing up physically? Q: I suppose now immediately it comes back as a sadness here. (points to the chest) James: Great. There it is. Bring it back. Follow the…

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Working With Gritty Sensations

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 15 April, 2017 Q: I can drop the story momentarily, but there is still sensation. And the sensation is, not constantly, but typically recently, is pretty heavy. James: Great. So we come back to the start again. Simple. Child-like. Here we are. Whatever-we-are. And we notice that whatever-we-are, that’s here, has this quality of being aware. Aware of the visual image, of sounds, smells and tastes, as well as thoughts, feelings and sensations, all coming and going, while this that we are, that is aware, doesn’t come and go, but remains constant…

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The difference between Freedom and Self-realisation

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 15 April, 2017 Q: I read something a couple of weeks ago, and it stayed in my head and I’ve been looking at it, because it was saying there’s a difference between freedom and Self-realisation. They don’t go hand in hand. I think I had a wrong belief or something there. I had always thought, like most people, that Self-realisation is the destination. And yet your approach, which seems to me to be not unique but slightly different, is almost like the Self-realisation bit, which I kind of get – the impersonal…

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Gratitude is the flavour of You

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 15 April, 2017 Q: Hearing you say “Thank You” has reminded me of what I’m constantly curious about, which is gratitude. I’m very curious about where it comes from, and where it goes to. Particularly where it goes to. Because I don’t really know. And sometimes I’m really aware of it being a bargaining tool. Sometimes it just arises out of nowhere and just floods and fills and I go, “Where did you come from? And where are you going?” (Silent connecting) James: For me, as this starts to open up and…

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The True Ground

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 28 March, 2017 James: I love the image of a sapling, a young tree – the ground is there supporting its growth, so that its branches and leaves can dance with the wind, can be flowing and open. But it’s rooted, it has that stability in which to play, in which to express, in which to reveal its full glory. This ground (the earth) is like a metaphor for the ultimate, true ground – for wholeness. In this human experience we all come from wholeness and then, at a young age, we…

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The Hall Of Mirrors

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 28 March, 2017 Q: Hi James: Hi (long, silent connecting) Q: So it’s interesting. I feel like I haven’t offered enough content to have access to this space – the connection. It’s like I have to pay a price, of like: “Where’s all my shadow that I’ve gotta bring up here and show everyone?” So this is not ok. James: Great. Yes. This is ok. You can have it for free. Q: Oh really! Can I have that tenner back?! (lots of laughter in the room) Oh, money’s not an issue, really….

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The Need To Make It ‘Right’

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 28 March, 2017 Q: Before the first person came up to sit on the chair, I went through a real dance. I felt so good when I came in – I was so relaxed, and in such a nice space – and then when nobody came up I got in a panic, in a real panic. The heat was rising up as if my head would explode. I always feel a bit uncomfortable when nobody comes up, but never like today. James: That’s interesting. Why is that do you think? Q: I…

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Seeking The True Ground

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 March, 2017 Q: I realise that what happens for me, in relationships, is that I want the other one to give me the ground, to give me THAT. I don’t know it, but I want the other one to give me THAT. Whatever else the other gives me, I don’t want it. Because I want THAT. And I don’t know what it is, but I want THAT. James: Yes. That’s seeking you’ve just described. It could be another person, it could be a job, it could be money. Whatever it is,…

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Trying

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 February, 2017 Q: I noticed lately that when I’m going through something, and I try to open up to it, that I do the opposite: somehow I focus on it and it gets worse and worse. For example yesterday we invited somebody to lunch who has a severe illness and it’s getting worse, and I got so tired that I had to leave them and lie down; and afterwards all this guilt came up, ‘I should have given them more.’ And I was sitting with it and it got worse, because…

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Describing Discomfort

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 February, 2017 Q: I’m sitting here to experience the extraordinary uncomfortableness of sitting here. James: Yes. Great. See if you can describe it as it happens. Really get precise. Q: There’s a change in my mouth, in my saliva, there’s tightening in my chest, in my breath, my heart is doing strange things, my belly’s doing strange things, my eyes feel tight. James: Just let it all do whatever it needs to do. Here you are. (silent connecting) Q: There is a sense of wanting to weep. And everything changing and…

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Going Beyond The Witness

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 February, 2017 Q: I think I get that I am ‘that’ which watches what arises; I am experiencing what arises and falls away again. I see that everything arises and falls: my body and mind arise and fall, my pains in my joints arise and fall, and I can sometimes get sucked into them. But if I just breath enough, however terrifying or scary or whatever, it’s just part of what’s going on. But it still feels like I’m missing something. James: Recognising you are the aware presence, the ‘witness’, is…

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What’s Behind Anxiety?

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 February, 2017 Q: I’m pretty good at just being with life. Still… luminous… it’s great, really great. I don’t want to dismiss that. But when I move into action, then there’s a whole lot of different stuff that comes into play. James: Ok, so let’s look at that right now. What’s different? Q: I’m anxious. There’s a disturbance in the nervous system which I call anxiety. James: So that’s the starting point. That becomes the thread that leads us back. So what’s behind anxiety? (long silence) Q: I am! James: Exactly….

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Getting Lost On A Ride

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 18 February, 2017 Q: My ability to stay with ‘what is’ is a bit thin. It’s there, but I can get sucked in to all sorts of dramas. And the drama starts to become a closed loop and I identify with it and it keeps me awake at night. James: When you realise that you’ve just been lost on a ride, then there’s simply a realisation of that. It’s not that you got it wrong. Who got it wrong? Nobody got it wrong. You, as life, just got lost on a ride….

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A Cage Within A Cage

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 29 January, 2017 Q: I’m just sitting up here if only to get rid of the tightness that’s in my chest James: So let’s really welcome it, let’s really make friends with it. Because it feels like we want to get rid of these things, but actually, what if it’s an invitation? Here it is. Q: Now my heart is beating, thumping in my chest. James: You are alive! Q: I’m having trouble breathing. My heart is thumping so much that it’s difficult for me to take a breath. James: Yes, the…

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Permission To Be

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Transcript from a meeting with James Eaton on 10 January, 2017 Q: I came up because I just saw something that I hadn’t seen before… some kind of… the best way I can label it right now is like a fear of intimacy. James: How is it showing up? What is it you’re noticing? Q: It’s kind of here, in the heart. James: Is it hot, cold, tight, heavy? Q: It’s tight. James: Really feel into that tightness, right now. Just as we are here, just here, allow it into this aware openness that you are. Welcome it in, no agenda, let it do…

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