I've written my controlling mind away and now the raw untrammelled beauty can flood forth, a warm river of soothing softening enriching melting sweet honey-like golden deliciousness, tingling, pulsating, vividly vibrantly alive, alive, I'm ALIVE! Laughter... LOL LOL LOL, the laughter is so loud! A lolling head LOL-ing! Enjoying the incomprehensible gorgeousness of it all!
A huge yawn, an energy that wants to flow, so many years so many, locked up in that dark little corner. Come dear friend, now is the beautiful moment, love is here to unlock you from your prison, love is here to gently guide you home sweet home, love is here to listen to all your pain, to soothe and soften, to hear you sing again, to hear your voice grow stronger, more resolute, to see your eyes brighten, your energy heighten, to see you stretch and grow, until there's no edge to find, and nothing separate to know.
Words by James Eaton Photo by Alexandru Tudorache ...
And what comes next, what comes next? The bliss breaks into laughter then comes a sweet sweet melancholy, deliciously sweet, and what's this what's this? Tears of joy, or sadness? I really don't know which, both, at the same time! And now it's bliss again, and soft laughter! I give in to it all, am swept up in its delectable current, that delivers me back to the vastness of the ocean.
Mmmmmm I like that, so sweet. Feel it, yes. The openness is bliss. It just IS! That is what we are – pure bliss! My devils advocate jumps up and says: “but James, if you talk of bliss you give people something to reach for, you tie them up in the same old game you're purporting to expose!” But what my devils advocate cannot appreciate, is that this bliss is not a destination to achieve, to attain, it is the very bedrock of all that is! Oh thank you for the miracle of THIS.
In this softness, the hard dense energies of fear and terror start to be seen. Like terrified children that have been hiding beneath the bed or under the blankets or in the cupboard under the stairs, that feel the loving presence, that dare to slowly open the door, just a crack, to see that it's ok, that they are welcome to come out, out into the light, slowly slowly, gently, yes, there is only love here dear ones, love that loves to acknowledge you, to hold you without demands or expectations, without judgments or criticism, just holds you, loves you, so you can rest from your hyper vigilance, from your years of feeling cramped up and hidden away, so you can rest, sleep like a new born baby, let it all go, all unravel, all unroll into his vast openness of being.
It's so much fun to write, to express oneself without censoring or erasing or editing or changing things in order for it to be 'ok', for it to appeal to some imaginary person that will then find us wise and whose love and acknowledgement and acceptance we can earn. What a game, what an exhausting game that is! And where does it get us in the playing? Tired, out of our power, yearning for some kind of release. Well here is the true release! You don't need to play that game anymore. You ARE love, it doesn't need to be earned! When the tensions thaw, then the exquisite, unique wonder that you already are can shine forth. I see you, I SEE YOU! Hello my wondrous friend!!!
My eldest son Edward always wanted to go on the 'sea dragon' ride. But when he was finally tall enough to be allowed on, he found it terrifying and wanted to get off! Here’s what happened as we braved the ride together... ...
I feel so close to you as I write. Who is writing to who? I and Thou. I the representative on the earthly plane, and Thou the all-seeing, the all-pervading. And I is Thou and Thou is I, and how we love to enjoy this wondrous inter-play. The greatest love affair of all.
Words by James Eaton Photo by Washington National Cathedral ...
The joy the bliss issuing from the depths of life, that is available to all. How can it be that we have closed ourself off to this glory!!? How can we bear to carry on when divorced from this wonder? The answer is we can't of course. And it's that suffering, that frustration and irritation that is the signal, the alarm call that something fundamental has been overlooked, forgotten. And so begins the journey, that long and winding adventure back to the home we never left.
So much laughter coming up, oh to think of so many years caught inside the straightjacket of shoulds and shouldn'ts, just to match up to some superimposed idea of what I had to be. It wasn't a waste, not at all, it just makes this realisation all the more sweeter. “Thank you thank you thank you for this clarity. Bring me more!!!”
I'm almost in disbelief! Can it really be fun? Am I allowed, AM I? YES!!! Permission to BE! When the yearning and fixating on a goal, and tightening and trying trying trying takes a holiday, then the fun can come, thought is released from the shackles, can dance and spin and pirouette to its hearts content, can play with new formulations and expressions, new possibilities it never dreamed of, or ever could dream of in the vice-like grip of the separate 'me' and its relentless project to be seen as special, to try to earn admiration and love. Oh what deep misunderstandings we get wrapped up in! YOU ARE LOVE! IT DOESN'T NEED TO EARNED!!! Let the celebrations begin :-)))
Enjoy it enjoy it, it doesn't have to be a chore! Even the hard work can be fun! Yes!!! No “buts”! It's true all the way through. Impossible to believe if you've grown up slogging yourself through exams and syllabuses, chunking it done into sections to enable yourself to get through it, forcing yourself on to fulfil some idea of how your life should go. But here in the in-joying the goal becomes secondary, life is HERE in this vivid moment.
What will come? It's exciting! I feel like a little boy on an adventure, who knows where we will go next?! Not where we expect, that's a dull, stale path to follow, but into the unknown?! YES, now you're talking! There's the excitement, there's the mystery, there's the possibility. So let's step forward, see where this path leads, see what challenges and adventures lie in store, and meet them with this freshness, with this openness to life, trusting that what it brings is just what is needed for the fullest expression to unfold.
We want to be free of all the heaviness, the hopelessness, the anxiety, and yet wanting to be rid of it just makes us more rigid and tense, a sure way of keeping it all alive. So where do we go, what do we do??? The challenge is not to get lost inside it, to act it out, or to repress it either, but to stay right there, right in the middle, to honour that sickly feeling, to let it soften and open our heart, to come to the point where being in the midst of that struggle is more desirable than being swept up in its momentum, that's how we learn the true meaning of love.
Words by James Eaton Photo by Riccardo Chiarini ...