Dear 'suffering', you are not some obstacle to overcome, some nuisance in the way of permanent bliss! No, you are my teacher, my curriculum, to soften my arrogant know-it-all-ness, to deepen my sensitivity, to widen my capacity for care and compassion, to understand what love is, and so fall in love with every creature, every feature of this beautiful world.
~ James Eaton (pic of Buttermere in The Lakes, Cumbria) ...
You are not broken, you don't need fixing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are a wonder of unfathomable wondrousness, a priceless diamond, infinitely precious. And from the pristine clarity that you already are, you start to see the beliefs that say otherwise, that through repetition are taken as truths, that constrain and distort your beautiful naturalness, that leave their mark in your body. See them, acknowledge them—they are like fearful children, frozen in their moment of overwhelm. And in feeling your loving openness, they get the nourishment they need—to feel safe, to relax, to smile, to laugh and be playful once again. And just like our own children, when they are ready, we let them go. You are not broken, you don't need fixing, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
We want to be seen and yet we fear it. Why? Because it means we will be SEEN. And when we imagine that, deep within, we are unworthy, not enough, that we are constantly under surveillance, that any imperfect move will be punished, then we can't afford to be seen—we need to hide away from life, to develop an array of coping strategies and avoidance techniques. But you are enough my friend, oh yes who are soooo enough! Your value is beyond measure. Here, now, as together we dare to allow the old defences to fall, to be laid bare, to be seen in all our nakedness, we discover the miracle that . . . IT IS OK! That it's more than ok: that we feel vibrantly, ecstatically alive. Welcome home dear friend, welcome home.
When you express freely then what comes out is the truth, unsculpted by the needing-to-get-it-‘right’ so as not to be rejected by others. And yes, when you tell the truth it can be very revealing, it can make you feel very vulnerable—that’s why we fear it so much. But we’ve tried the cautious ‘trying to please’ approach for so long already—the self-denying, self-censoring—and does it work, does it bring unconditional happiness and ultimate security? No! It brings fear, paranoia and restless dissatisfaction! Trust your truth, trust in who you are; reveal yourself, and feel what it’s like to be free.
Sweet, sweet children and their softness, their playful innocence; what a reminder of our own innocence that is still here, still waiting to be connected to, beneath the hardened crust of our ‘sophisticated’ adulthood. That sweet innocence, that is so tender, so vulnerable, and so full of creativity and delight; that’s what is on offer when we dare to lay ourselves open, to be fully seen.
As I write I'm with you, I am you pressing the keys—it's such a delightful ride! What's next I wonder as I watch the fingers dance . . . a wondering about the wonderer . . . Ha! That's a short road to nowhere! I laugh and smile a wide smile, I don't know why, I don't need a reason—joy is the flavour at the heart of existence. When the tensions soften and the grasping releases, when the attempts to get 'there' collapse, we find ourselves right 'here' where all the real action is.
Ahhhhh yessss! The sweet joy of the moment, nakedly revealed in all its glory; for glory is what you are, like the most brilliant sun that never burns out. And not even 'like', you ARE all suns, all stars, all planets; you are the mountains, the oceans, the vegetation, 'all creatures great and small'; the cells, the molecules, the atoms, the sub atomic particles—all the way from the macro to the micro and back again. I bow to you oh great one.
Mmmmmm smell the air, the freshness of being; nothing needs to be done to have it, this preciousness is given freely—it's FREE! Savour it, pleasure in its divine simplicity: the blissful warmth of love in the veins, the sensual delight of being ALIVE.
What words could I possible use to describe you beautiful friend, that would even begin to capture your wondrous glory, your inexpressible delight, your magical magnificence!!!? Tell me, what words could ever reflect the delicious sweetness of your love—your soft, tender caress, your blissful kiss, your deep care and compassion? And then there's your playfulness too, like a kid in a sand pit—your bright eyed spontaneity, and that delightful mischievousness! Not to mention your crystal clarity and steadfast, unwavering devotion to truth that is a constant inspiration. Oh, and how could I forget your infinite creativity too, that conceives of an entire universe of life, which you then, with your awesome strength and power, construct in the opening of an eye and dismantle again in its closing. WOW! Yes, I am resigned; I could never get near it in words.
Welcome my friend, welcome. I see you, I know you, I hear your old pain, your old sorrow—for all those years of hiding away your sweetness, of closing down your natural desire to be seen and express your truth, even feeling shame for having such desires. Yes I see you, and I welcome you; welcome you to tell me your woes, to unburden your frustration, your anger, your rage at being so neglected. And in that sweet unburdening, to feel the lightness of your spirit, the blissful energy of aliveness, the freedom to finally express yourself fully and unreservedly.
uiperuidvpjpidvhpsprhpfvivhinvpidnirnvdpinvdsinvodnuoeroygohvivvnlvnlvvnnnvdhoiurotu0toirlfnldfnldflnlkbklblkbhiofgeruivnlvfvhphipirehgiprhgpghp oh sacred silliness! What a delight it is! Childlike exuberance, light, like a dancer on tippy toes, dance dance, skip and spin, whirl and curl; I'm a dragon, a snake, I'm batman, I'm spiderman, I'm Harry Potter with a magic wand—endless adventures to live and create, to explore and enjoy, to be fascinated with, to be terrified by, to learn through and gradually discover the indescribable meaning of love.
What is at the heart of you? When you believe that it's an entity, located in the head, that controls all thoughts and actions, then, whether you appear outwardly confident or not, deep down you will feel isolated, fearful and alone, constructing a 'personality' to try to earn love, to fit in—to survive. And it's that very feeling of isolation that is the most precious gift, for it is the immune system of life, alerting you to a case of mistaken identity, inviting you to break the trance, to realise that what realises is a 'place' without a position, and in being nowhere and no-thing, is everywhere and every-thing. At the heart of you is a light of infinite brilliance, a light that never goes out . . . come let it shine!
Here we are on this 'earthly plane', exploring what it is to be human, to feel the wild extremes of what's possible, from a deep despair to an ecstatic roar, what it is to really LIVE! To lay oneself open to the flow of being, to act as its advocate, until there is nothing separate to be the advocate—there is only being being, marvelling at and celebrating its own wonder. And, in seeing where its radiance has yet to shine, to be naturally drawn to meet the hardened lumps of grief and fear with loving gentleness; to expose bullshit and highlight the truth; to powerfully challenge cruelty and injustice; to enlighten all of itself, with itself, through itself; to follow the unstoppable, inexorable movement towards living love.
Tightness in the eyes, nausea in the belly; acknowledging it, allowing it to be . . . and very naturally, this loving presence begins to pervade it, like warm sunlight, easing and softening the tensions. And there's a yawn—welcome dear yawn! It's the repressed tears of a lifetime, like a bloated cloud behind the eyes, waiting to empty out and rain down my face. “I want to be seen, I'm ready I'M READY!” is the ecstatic cry from deep within. Soft, soft . . . appreciating every delicate nuance of energy . . . it's like making sweet love with that cloud of grief. Oh, the beauty in this unravelling!