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Molten Lava

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When our deepest beliefs, the ones we thought were rock solid and sacrosanct, are fundamentally shaken and crumble to dust. When our heart erupts and a molten lava flow of feelings begin to burn. How astonishing, how utterly remarkable, that in the midst of these fiery energies – in no longer finding interest in the stories of fear, anger, hate, jealousy or blame that try to take hold – there is nothing but gratitude, awe and wonder for the immutable, indestructible Joy that is our very essence! What is this crazy madness?! How can there possibly be joy in such…

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The Escape Artist

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Here it comes again, that old familiar scene. Tiredness, worry, anxiety. Feeling lost, lonely and confused. Not knowing which way to turn or what to do. Feeling pressure from all sides. Blocked up, closed down, hemmed in. Tension in the shoulders, tension in the brow. A shortness of breath. A tightness in the belly… To avoid the discomfort we reach into our usual repertoire of escape techniques. Maybe it’s thoughts about how faulty or deficient we are, about how we can never get our act together, about how our life is supposed to look. Or perhaps it’s a drink, or…

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Who Is With You Now?

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Worn down, hopeless and dejected – Who is with you now? Who held you when you were told that you were stupid, When you first learned that you were faulty goods? Who has held you through the years Of feeling inhibited and repressed, Of yearning for more, Of pretending in order to cover all of the embarrassing awkwardness? Who holds you when your armour of certainties turn to dust, When you’re exposed once more, Naked and raw, With nowhere left to stand? This One, that’s who: The unnamable, The unlocatable, The undeniable. This One: Who holds all of life in…

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Beyond the Skin

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A friend who once belonged to a particular spiritual group was telling me how some of the members, when feeling unhappy, frustrated or disillusioned, deliberately wouldn’t attend for fear of being judged as having ‘failed’. Since when did spirituality become about denying our experience in order to uphold the image of a smiley, happy, untouchable, unflappable, super-positive, spiritual know-it-all?! Isn’t it precisely the longing to be free of this kind of self-repression that draws us into ‘spirituality’ in the first place? We can change the scenery, the characters and the costumes as much as we like, but until we fundamentally…

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The Visceral Throb

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When we’re fed up with all our painful, unwanted conditioning. When we want our life to fundamentally change, we can tie ourselves up in knots trying to make it happen, trying to reach some longed for idea of ‘freedom’. “Why should it be so difficult?” we might ask. Because the supposed ‘me’ that’s trying to solve the ‘problem’ is the cause of the ‘problem’ it’s trying to solve! No wonder we feel overwhelmed. What if we just drop it all? All the strategies, the reasoning, the spiritual concepts, the idea of destroying our conditioning, the hope of some kind of…

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